
When the Church Abandons It's Own
Yesterday I met with a woman who is dying. She needed someone to talk with to help her as she moves toward the end. She has been home bound for years with only her unbelieving husband to care for her. When he answered the door he seemed angry, overwhelmed and not at all welcoming. I soon found out why.
Barbara was anxious about all the things she should get done but couldn't. Her eyesight is failing so things like cleaning out documents in her computer or managing the family trust were becoming too difficult for her to manage. I asked her if there was anyone in her church who comes to help her. No, but she is on their prayer list. It is said that talk is cheap. The same can be said for, "We will pray for you."
She used to attend a large church in town but they had long since abandoned her. She'd had some friends there who visited after her diagnosis but they had moved on with their lives. The church had no provision or program to visit the sick and homebound. They were busy winning the town for Christ and building the church I guess.
I had brought communion with me and this frail woman lit up when she saw it. She told me that it had been five years since she'd had communion. Five. Years! My heart broke and I became angry about how this sweet woman had been left to die alone.
Her husband was a witness to how the church abandons those who are no longer able to participate in the church. Why would he want to be a part of such an organization? He also needs help but the church is not somewhere they can turn for it.
My husband, who now has cancer himself, ran a visitation ministry for shut-ins at a church we were in. One woman he visited told him that her life was four walls, 24 hours a day. She asked if a pastor from the church could come and bring her communion. When Burt asked the pastor he said that he was too busy!
Yes, it takes a lot to run an organization but I thought we were an organism. We are to be the body of Christ but buildings, bodies and bucks, programs and procedures, and outreach and church building have taken precedence over caring for the actual body of Christ.
I know some will tell me that their church is not like this. I would be glad to hear such stories but too often it is true that the church will put its time and effort into those in the church who will produce and provide for it rather than humble itself to serve those that can give nothing in return.
My husband also used to be a companion for those with ALS. He would meet with them by phone or online video or email as they were able. One man lived a block from the church where he grew up, was married, was a deacon and to whom he tithed. As his ALS caused him to be homebound, this church no longer contacted him or cared about him. They did, however, after no contact for over a year, send him a letter asking how much he would be pledging to the church in the new year. Understandably that number would be zero.
One last story. The wife of the senior pastor of the same church that Barbara attended was ill for several years. There was a calendar set up and women from the church came three days a week to help out for those years until she passed. How is it that Barbara is not valued but the pastor's wife is?
Christ cares for the lowliest of us. Apparently the corporate church does not.
What if churches had a pastor who actually pastored? You know, their main focus would be personally caring for those in the church. I can already hear it - we can't afford to hire a pastor to just visit the sick and care for those in the church. Isn't this what the Lord wanted us to do? Didn't Paul set it up so that the weak of the church were cared for by someone assigned to this ministry?
Barbara's story is horrifyingly common. I'm sure the church will do a very nice funeral for her when she dies. In the meantime, she is homebound, in pain, dying, alone and her husband is convinced that church is not something that he would ever want to be a part of.
I'm bringing her communion again next week.
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