What if you aren't who you thought you were?
Learn to live without limits
I live out who I think I am. My thoughts, behaviors, and health of my relationships all originate in my beliefs about who I am.
If my belief about myself is not what Christ would think of me then I am living a lie.
And, that lie taunts me, is the reason I self-sabotage, procrastinate, and feel that something is missing.
Our identity is created in the faces and words of those around us and what we tell ourselves about their opinion of us.
We are not born with this identity; it is made with each interaction and with each interpretation we give those interactions. It is often wrong. It is definitely not right when there is trauma.
A healthy identity is easy to spot. An unhealthy one will hide, pretending that it is okay when, in reality, there is an internal, daily struggle.
Our identity, while it can be changed, often is just maintained. All of us, no matter if our identities are healthy or not, do identity maintenance daily. This identity maintenance keeps a faulty identity in play or a healthy one healthy.
Every day, there are a thousand little things that tell us who we are. To maintain our chosen identity, we ignore those messages that compete with the identity story we tell ourselves and notice those that validate it.
If I only bring in what validates my story instead of examining what I am telling myself about who I am, then I will not change and will continue to maintain my faulty identity.
If I believe that I am not good enough, unworthy, and undeserving, then I will self-sabotage when success comes to keep my story going.
If I am terrified of failure or success, then I will procrastinate as a way to avoid them both. That way I can ensure that I stay exactly where I am - stuck in an identity that is not true.
Start to feel good about myself or my accomplishments? The inner bully is there to remind me how unworthy and less than I am. Begin a new project and make a normal mistake and my inner bully will start right in, reminding me of how stupid I am and that I can’t do anything right.
The inner bully is a constant companion. Its job is to ensure the shame continues and keep you from either being successful in life or enjoying your accomplishments. It will keep you in your place.
Instead of an inner bully that works at identity maintenance, we can decide on identity transformation.
I want you to claim your true, stolen identity and stop living a lie. I don’t want to make the old one easier to live with. I don’t want you to be more comfortable in the lie that you live.
I want the new, true you to burst forth. The world needs you to be you. I need you to be you.
We will strip off the lies that have held you back, destroy the patterns that have kept you from truly excelling, and instill truths that give you life and a real reason for all you do.
...You have never been unloved or alone. Even if you wanted God to not be near, He is committed to always be with you. He was with you before He created you, in the womb, every moment since, and is with you in eternity.
...He chose you and called you to be His child forever. He will not change His mind.
...He sees you already with Him in heaven. And, there you are perfect, glorified, holy, without blemish.
...He changed your very identity from sinner to saint. Saint means, "holy one." You are not a wretch but made holy - a new creation.
...In adoption you became His child. He is not ashamed of you. He does not agree with your inner bully. Instead, He delights for you to come to Him.
You are deeply and eternally loved. He will never change His mind about you.
"I know your frame, I remember that you are dust." He doesn't expect perfection from you this side of heaven but promises it to you in heaven. He expects you to make mistakes and even to sin, but He also knows you are made to be perfect and with Him.
...He adopted you into a family. He is your true Father. All ties to your family of origin are no longer valid legally. His claim over you is real and permanent.
...He brought you into a new family. True sisters and brothers travelling together until we are forever together in heaven.
...When your Father looks at you, He sees you covered in the righteousness of Christ. He doesn't see you covered in sin. He doesn't see you as a sinner, but as a holy, beloved, chosen, loved, adopted, and delighted in child of God.
Should the whole world think you have no value, should it believe that you are insignificant and less than, it does not matter. Only what Christ believes about you is important.
Find yourself in Him as His beloved - valued, chosen, rejoiced in, loved, and called to be His.
Then you will no longer live a lie. Then you will be living out the truth of who you are. Your identity as child of God will be your source of strength and freedom.
The easiest and fastest way is to work with me in The Connected Heart Project. In this very small group we discover how we came to believe the lies about ourselves that created an identity that just isn't true.
We find the origins of our inner bullies and, not only silence them, but replace them with a voice that is encouraging, loving and empowering.
We rebuild identity from the foundations up. We restore healthy attachments that define and strengthen our true identities. We draw closer to the God that created us, knows us and know the joy of being with Him.
We discover our God-given design and the best possible version of ourselves. And, so much more!
In three months we have a true makeover of our hearts and minds. We connect with God, ourselves and with others in a way that is healthy and life-giving.
All that I wrote above about who you are in Christ becomes real and yours. Now, you are living a true you. It is joyful and freeing.
If the truth sets us free then it is the lie that imprisons us. All you need is the key.
I can hear more deeply in my heart and soul, and especially during times of prayer and meditation, His loving words toward me.
The principles and tools that Kim presents in Connected Heart are all so simple, and so easy to pick up and apply to my everyday life!
It has completely changed the paradigm of my life and my ability to see where I actually stand with God, in His warm loving arms, cherishing His darling daughter.
I can hardly remember what it was like to see Him differently. The shift is real, lasting, powerful!
My experience with working with Kim has been life changing to say the least. As someone who has struggled for many years with Depression and anxiety, She has given me a new hope and a new perspective on life. She has taught me how to think the way that God would think, And has taught me skills to rewire the way that I think. Kim has brought a happiness and self confidence back into my life that I didn’t think I could ever have again. She has shown me who our God really is, and how much he loves me. She has opened my eyes to see that there is still a beautiful life after trauma, And that Anxiety and Depression is not my identity. I will forever be grateful for Kim and everything she has taught me. She is truly an Angel here on Earth, and is changing lives forever.
Dr. Kim's calm, grounding presence in my life has been monumental - her voice echos in my mind throughout the day, reminding me of who I am in Christ. I'm so grateful for her mentorship.
I was surprised to discover lies that I'd believed about God & myself that were keeping me stuck. Dr. Kim doesn't just expose the lies - she acts as a guide to uproot them and move forward in freedom!
I've loved being a part of a community of like-minded women who have a common goal: we want to be transformed by Jesus! I feel valued and cared for in this group. The Connected Heart Project is a safe place to share and learn together, and I'm so grateful I 'took the plunge' and signed up!
Are you ready to take back your life?